Philanthropy and Morality

Last weekend, I had the pleasure of joining over a hundred Heads of School and Board Chairs of top independent schools from throughout the country to discuss societal trends that affect our schools as well as recent research on how to raise moral children. The former will provide topics for future discussions, but I did not want to delay in sharing with you the important insights of one of speakers, Richard Weissbourd, the author of The Parents We Mean to Be. His talk was geared toward his audience of those invested in educating our children, rather than parents, but it was clear that his research supports the partnership between parents and faculty that is such a key part of Whiteman Primary.

There was much discussion throughout the weekend, and particularly during Weissbourd’s presentation, about the conflict that children experience between the desires to be happy, be successful, and do good. As he pointed out, people whose main goal is to be happy or to be successful often do not reach that goal. However, people who spend their lives striving to do good reach that goal, and are more often than not both happy and successful. Raising moral children involves turning their attention away from themselves and their own feelings, toward empathy for others and their feelings. Rather than asking, “How did that make you feel?” asking a child the question of “How do you think your friend felt?” is an important  step. Modeling for children a life of doing good and caring for others is essential, so parents and other adults to whom the child looks for guidance need to make their care for others evident in both action and words. Being part of a family and a school where philanthropy is clearly valued helps a child develop that other-focused mindset that leads to doing good (and, coincidentally, to happiness).

The children of LWPS are extremely fortunate to be a part of just that sort of community. Every day, the children see their parents giving their time and energy to the school. They see their teachers going above and beyond the demands of their jobs to reach out and help students and families, and to help in the community. As an example, this year, Kim shared with the students information and photos from her trip to Romania and her efforts to help a young boy attend school there. Understanding the circumstances that less fortunate children face helps build empathy for others. Our Upper Primary students’ upcoming field trip to experience life in Uganda is just one opportunity LWPS students have to internalize care and concern for others. On a more local level, the students’ involvement in supporting and working for Lift-Up is another such opportunity. Even our upcoming auction allows students to see their parents and the staff working hard to raise money for scholarships so that less financially able students can attend LWPS. Our families and faculty provide an exceptional philanthropic model, giving to others time, energy, and when possible, funds.

I came away from the conference more convinced than ever that the parent participation that is such a key part of the LWPS community is one of our most important attributes. The way that the families and faculty cooperate allows students to experience, on a daily basis, what it means to think of others and to do good. The conference made me appreciate, all the more, what “a special school in a special place,” is doing to nurture moral children.